I didn't think it was possible to walk out of a Dr.'s office knowing less than what you did walking in.

Summary:

"Hey, you might or might not be sick, so here's an expensive
prescription for two super strong medicines that are going to
essentially fuck up your stomach... just in case, and by the way
I'm just going to ignore the fact that you've gained 10 pds in
4 weeks,and that you're over a month late. I couldn't really read
your ultrasound, because I have no clue what I'm looking for
other than your i.u.d.,and let's see, I'll give you nothing for the
pain, I have no answers for you, I have absolutely no idea
what's wrong with you and, Oh! wait, sure let's do a last minute
blood test just in case you are pregnant with the baby I wasn't
looking for, you'll get the results for that in two days. Have fun waiting.
How did you like your hour and a half stay and your total of fifteen
minutes with any actual nurse or doctor? by the way, here is the bill."